Rise Up! Advocacy & Eating Disorders Awareness Week (EDAW)

Blog post written by Amanda Raffoul, MSc, PhD Candidate in Public Health and Health Systems, University of Waterloo

In Canada, Eating Disorders Awareness Week (EDAW) is held the first week of February (February 1-7). EDAW is an opportunity to increase knowledge, collect donations, and work to erase the stigma surrounding eating disorders among Canadians. The driving force underlying all of these endeavours is the power of advocacy, which inspires EDAW initiatives from coast to coast to coast.

Approximately 1 million Canadians have a diagnosed eating disorder, and an even greater number are likely undiagnosed and/or struggling with disordered eating that does not meet diagnostic criteria. Eating disorders are among the deadliest psychiatric illnesses and have devastating impacts on the lives of those impacted and their families and friends.

Despite these facts, eating disorders are grossly under-funded and under-researched. Efforts by the Canadian government, research institutes, and health centres often fail to address eating disorders in their mandates and missions.

This underscores the need for advocacy in eating disorders practice — by channelling our efforts into raising awareness around eating disorders, we can advocate for greater research, prevention, treatment, and caregiver support that will better the well-being of all Canadians.

During and beyond EDAW, advocacy for eating disorders can:

• highlight the lived experience of individuals who struggle with eating disorders and disordered eating. One key element of this shining a light on the varieties of experiences of folks with eating disorders, and especially those whose stories are often neglected in mainstream portrayals (like racialized people, higher-weight people, and men and nonbinary folks).

• disseminate research on the impacts of eating disorders on Canadians of all sizes, races, ethnicities, and genders. These impacts may be financial, emotional, physical, and/or social for the person affected and their families and friends.

• raise awareness of services and supports nationally and locally. By promoting services in communities (check out the list of regional services on our site) and nationwide, we can increase awareness of supports for when people need them most.

• decrease stigma surrounding food- and weight-related struggles that affect much of the population. EDAW provides an opportunity for eating disorder practitioners and researchers to dispel prevalent myths around disordered eating and reinforce messaging that eating disorders are not a choice.

Feeling inspired? Good! The Waterloo-Wellington Eating Disorders Coalition (WWEDC) is hosting several EDAW events that aim to tackle the stigma surrounding eating disorders in our region.

• University of Guelph Body Image Expose

  • Feb 4, 2020 - 10:00am - 3:00pm

  • The Wellness Education and Promotion Centre at the University of Guelph will be running an expose aimed at introducing students to the topics of Health At Every Size, body image concerns, and eating disorder prevention and treatment. The expose will feature interactive activities such as cookie decorating and button making, as well as information from on- and off- campus supports.

• Faces of Recovery

  • Feb 7, 2020 - 7:00 - 9:00pm @ Guelph Youth Music Centre (75 Cardigan St., Guelph, ON)

  • A panel discussion featuring individuals on the road to recovery from an eating disorder, as well as family members who supported their journeys. Free admission, donations welcome.

• University of Guelph Body Project

  • Feb 8 & 9, 2020 - 11:00am - 1:00pm

  • The Wellness Education and Promotion Centre at the University of Guelph will be facilitating The Body Project. The Body Project is a workshop that aims to promote positive body image, reduce body shaming and encourage folks to accept themselves as they are. Participants must attend both sessions. Refreshments will be provided! Please register at https://gryphlife.uoguelph.ca/.

• All About Eating Disorders

  • Feb 12, 2020 - 7:00 - 8:30pm @ CMHA Waterloo Office (1 Blue Springs Dr., Waterloo, ON)

  • A community workshop featuring clinicians and individuals with lived experience. Learn about eating disorders and local services and supports. Free admission, donations welcome.

Not free to attend one of our events? No problem! You can search for an event in your local area, join the conversation on social media, or join the #showusyourpurple campaign.

Eating disorders cannot afford to wait! This EDAW, join us in advocating for greater awareness around eating disorders and the millions of Canadians they affect.

Being a face of recovery

Blog post written by Sarah Braun 

I first heard about Faces of Recovery in 2016 when a good friend of mine was set to speak. As I sat in the audience listening, I remember thinking to myself “I want to do that someday.” To be in a place both mentally and physically where my story could set an example and hopefully inspire others along their journey. Fast forward 3 years and yet another lengthy stay at an inpatient facility and here I was, being asked to speak at the upcoming event in 2019.

Being asked to be a part of this event was such an honour, and incredibly humbling. To be honest, I wasn’t totally surprised when I was approached with the idea. My recovery post-treatment had been going especially well, and I was both shocked and proud of my success up until that point. Therefore, once being asked to speak, it felt as though I had a true goal to work towards because I still felt a little lost looking into the future. All the effort I had been putting into recovery would be put on a metaphorical pedestal for others to see. I had to stay on track and strong in my recovery to avoid feeling like a fraud when I was up on stage speaking. Leading up to Faces of Recovery my whole world centred around life in recovery (as it should), and I loved every second of it. When I wanted to engage in behaviours, I would simply remind myself that in order to be a “Face of Recovery” I must in fact, be in recovery and therefore not engaging in symptoms. Knowing I had this goal of speaking, recovery seemed to come naturally to me.

Leading up to the event my anxiety grew stronger each day and sitting down to write my speech was daunting. How was I supposed to sum up my journey in ten minutes or less? I was overwhelmed with what to include and what to leave out. How honest am I allowed or supposed to be? What part of my story is most important? What is the main message I’d like to get across to the audience? The questions that were rolling around in my mind seemed never-ending. Luckily, after speaking with my therapist, my nerves calmed down when she suggested I simply write from the heart, be honest about the good, bad and ugly. To write as though I am only speaking to one person in the room and what is one thing I’d like for them to take away from listening. I was the first to speak at the event and being on stage speaking my truth was absolutely terrifying. I’d be lying if I said I didn’t spend the entire day beforehand pacing my apartment. Despite all the anxiety and fear leading up to it, speaking at Faces of Recovery was by far the most liberating, empowering and validating thing I’ve done to date. There is no way to describe how great that night was other than exhilarating. Family and friends from out of town weathered a snowstorm to hear me speak that night. Fellow warriors I spent months in treatment alongside came from all over Ontario to support me. Seeing current and former members of my treatment team in the audience filled me with such pride to look out and be able to show them that ‘I made it.’ Even to this day it feels like a dream.

Allowing myself be vulnerable and share my journey in front of a room full of (mostly) strangers, turned out to be much easier than I had anticipated it to be. Putting my recovery on display faired to be quite therapeutic. I proved to myself that I am capable of not only recovery, but also that it’s okay to take up time and space. That was a concept I struggled with for a while, however once I was on that stage, I welcomed the idea and began to understand that I am worthy of it. Afterwards, I had a friend thank me for inviting him. He stated that he now had a better understanding of recovery and all the ups and downs that come with it. Him and other friends learned my weaknesses, my struggles and my truth. They came to better grasp the phrase “recovery is not linear” and with them realizing that, I found it was much easier to be honest with them moving forward and it has strengthened our relationships. Leaving the theatre afterwards I was on cloud nine and I felt invincible. However, that did not last long. The next day I felt an emotional crash set in that I wasn’t expecting. The goal of being able to speak, that I had been working towards for months had come and gone. Now what? It was as though I no longer had a purpose. I had lost my reason ‘why’. I felt like I had hit a peak in my recovery and it was all down hill from there. Now that everyone knew I was (in their words) recovered, it felt like permission to no longer put effort in or focus on my recovery, which in the end took its' toll on me for a quite some time.

Looking back, I wish I had not considered this event to be such a pinnacle point in my recovery. Of course it is something I am incredibly proud of, however if I could do it again, I would spend less time trying to be perfect leading up to it. I would ensure that I had outside goals that didn’t revolve around recovery to fall back on afterwards. I wouldn’t worry as much about being an inspiration, but instead about being true to myself, my emotions and my struggle, because that’s the truly inspiring part. Listening to the other speakers who were further along than I was in their recovery was really comforting. It was nice to hear that it does get better and won’t always be so difficult and exhausting. I learned that maybe the voice in my head will never go away no matter how far along I am, but that I will learn how to turn the volume down and stand up to it.

Faces of Recovery really opened my eyes to my strength, my progress and it also showed me my weaknesses and the areas I still need to improve upon, which I am grateful for as it only makes me stronger. I proved to myself that if I want to succeed, I can and I will. I have the power to make my own dreams, no matter how big or small, come true. I made a promise to myself in 2016 that I would one day get to be a 'Face of Recovery' and speak at this event, and in 2019 I made that dream come true.

How my research is teaching me about my recovery

Blog post written by Therese Kenny, MSc, PhD Student Clinical Child and Adolescent Psychology 

Over the past two years, I have dived deep into the eating disorder recovery literature in the hopes of better understanding my own experience and being able to help others with eating disorders. As a self-proclaimed black-and-white thinker, I was hoping for an easy, clear-cut answer: recovery is _______. Instead I found that the research supports my own experience: recovery is messy, not well understood, and subjective. Eating disorders are as different as the individuals they affect, and so too is recovery. Nevertheless, the research suggests that there are some key similarities across individuals’ recovery experiences.

1. Recovery is about more than food. Individuals with lived experience focus on the psychological gains in recovery. These individuals typically report that normal eating is necessary for recovery, but not enough on its own; it’s a means to an end. Instead, they highlight the importance of increased self-worth, self-acceptance, and self-compassion in recovery. They also note “meaning making” as an important part of their experience. For some, this looks like increased spirituality; for others, this may involve activism and advocacy. In all cases, individuals note that recovery involves finding a sense of purpose or meaning outside the eating disorder.

2. Recovery is a process. Individuals with lived experience also note that recovery is NOT linear. In one study, participants reported that recovery was an ongoing process, which involves sustained vigilance and persistence. You have to work at it every day. The experience of recovery is not straightforward and requires constant renegotiation. It is expected that one will have good days and bad days (or even weeks and months), and that managing the bad days takes energy and strength.

3.  Recovery is counter-cultural. Newer research suggests that recovery from an eating disorder is especially difficult because it goes against cultural ideals of beauty and health. In society, it is perfectly accepted (and indeed encouraged) that individuals should engage in disordered eating and exercise practices to lose weight for the benefit of “health.” Recovery means doing the exact opposite of these practices and, in the process, rejecting (the dominant) diet culture. Understandably, individuals in recovery may end up feeling different, isolated, and alone, feelings that can then precipitate eating disorder behaviours. This last finding highlights the immense difficulty of recovering (or even contemplating recovery) in a world that constantly puts individuals back into the same diet-centered mindset where they became unwell.

From my research, I have come to better understand my own recovery experience. I feel connected with and understood by the many participants who have courageously shared their stories (even though I have never met or even communicated with them). Entering this research has also given me the opportunity to sit with the messiness of recovery and begin to accept that we are likely never going to have all the answers. As researchers and clinicians, we want to find the one cure, the one treatment, the one solution to address eating disorders. At the end of the day however, recovery will look different for every individual. We all come with our own stories and experiences, and it is these experiences that allow us to write our own beautifully messy and unique recovery stories.

Body Peace Conference 2019

Blog post written by Therese Kenny, MSc, PhD Student Clinical Child and Adolescent Psychology 

On behalf of Body Brave, NIED, and WWEDC, we are pleased to share that 216 registrants attended the inaugural Body Peace Virtual Eating Disorder and Body Image Conference. Attendees joined from nine Canadian provinces, the U.K, United States, Australia, New Zealand, South Africa, and Turkey!

Focusing on the value of lived experience as evidence, this year’s conference brought together survivors, caregivers, and health professionals to learn from 40 keynotes, speakers, and panelists, as well as from each other. 

We exceeded our expectations and are looking forward to organizing next year’s conference, reviewing and incorporating our lessons learned! Stay tuned for the call for abstracts to be launched early in 2020! We hope to see you there!

Five tips for avoiding diet culture this Halloween

Blog post written by Michelle Johnson, RD from Dear Dietitian

Diet culture is ever present this time of year. Media is littered with tips for sticking to your diet instead of indulging in the Halloween candy and parties this month. Let’s not fall down the diet culture rabbit hole this Halloween. See the following tips for avoiding diet culture this Halloween season.

TIP ONE: Give yourself permission

 Setting restrictions or avoiding all chocolate and candy is just giving these foods greater power. This is an example of the “pendulum effect.” The “pendulum effect” means the more you restrict a food, the more you want it. Quite honestly, if I avoided chocolate day in and day out, the next time I came into contact with chocolate at a party I would end up binge eating the whole bowl.

TIP TWO: Unfollow people who are dieting or fat shaming on social media

At this time of the year we may see people talking about the newest cleanse, diet or exercise routine on social media. Social media is a place where you have some control over the media you consume. Instead of doing a ‘diet cleanse’ try a ‘social media cleanse.’ Click “unfollow” or “hide” to those unhelpful accounts.

TIP THREE: Challenge the good food / bad food mentality

Let’s stop assigning moral value to foods. A food is not “good” or “clean.” All foods fit into a healthy diet. Yes I would be concerned if you only ate candy for breakfast, lunch and dinner… because you would be missing out on a few nutrients. However, I am also concerned if you never have candy, chocolate or other fun foods because that is a sign of disordered eating.

TIP FOUR: Set boundaries

This may mean telling others that you are working on body positivity, no longer dieting and that you want to talk about something else. This may also mean spreading the Health At Every Size (HAES) message or talking about the greater than ninety percent failure rate of dieting. Or perhaps it means simply walking away from diet talk at work or at school.

TIP FIVE: Surround yourself by like-minded people

Draw on your body-positive friend supports. Sometimes your community may be your direct friends or your therapist or healthcare team. For others, it may mean drawing on the support of the online HAES and body positive community. In tip two we talked about unfollowing unhelpful media, but we can also do the opposite and try to follow body positive folks instead. Try people like the wweatingdisorderscoalition, bodyposipanda or i_weigh to start!

Halloween is not about dieting. It is about trick-or-treating, attending costume parties, carving pumpkins and watching horror movies. Let’s leave diet culture behind this Halloween season.

Calling BS on the BMI!

Blog post written by Suzanne Dietrich, RD, Gut Instincts Nutrition Counselling, with contributions from Carly Werner, RD & Katie McCrindle, MSW

Please note that in this blog post we will be discussing weight, which we acknowledge may be triggering and sensitive reading material for some readers.

Genetics, for the most part, predisposes us to a certain set point weight, regardless of what the Body Mass Index chart tells us. Some people refer to the BMI as a tool to determine how much they should weigh and/or if they are healthy. This blog will explain why this can be problematic and introduces the Set Point Theory of Weight.

What is the BMI & where did it come from?

The BMI is a ratio of weight (kg) to height (m2). Period.

The BMI was developed by a man named Adolphe Quintlet in the mid-1800s who did not work in health at all - he was a mathematician, astronomer and statistician. He was curious about the relationship between a person’s height and weight and wanted to see what the “average” person would look like (here).

How is BMI being used? 

Researchers study the relationship between BMI and many factors including mortality and morbidity. The BMI was developed as a population measure rather than an individual assessment tool (here) and should not be used as such.

Some people calculate their BMI to see if their weight is “where it should be.” It is used inaccurately by some in the fitness or health field as a tool to convey the message of what a “normal weight” is for a person. However, BMI cannot determine what a person’s weight should be. In fact, I don’t know a tool that can. We don’t know what a “normal weight” is for a person based on calculations. 

The naming and use of the BMI categories are weight stigmatizing

BMI numbers have been categorized into sections in ways that stigmatize people based on their weight. The use of terms such as “underweight,” “overweight,” “normal weight,” and “obese” are problematic. As my esteemed colleague Fiona Willer, PhD, RD shared in her podcast (here) – “it would have been a lot less stigmatizing if they were labeled category A, B, C & D.” The weight categories are completely arbitrary.

In addition, these categories suddenly changed in 1998 in the US which meant that many people fitting in the “normal weight” category went to bed one night and then work up, in the same body... to now be called “overweight!" The cut-offs were lowered by 2.3-2.5, which meant more people were not considered "normal weight." We have to remember that weight loss is big business not only in the diet industry but also in the pharmaceutical industry. These new categories helped normalize weight loss medications and bariatric surgery, which can have severe health consequences for some but profitable outcomes for these industries. 

Oddly, the BMI categorizations were not determined based on the distribution of BMI’s in human, well-nourished population, but in fact, they were determined based on stats of dead men who were measured in the 1940s (here and here). In our “thin-centric society” and “thin=healthy culture” all of these terms induce judgment about one’s weight and the categories imply that many individuals are the wrong size and their body is a problem that needs to be fixed.

Because weight has been targeted as a body attribute that is personally modifiable or based on lifestyle choice there is much judgment placed on one’s weight. We don’t hear the message that someone’s feet are the wrong size!

Doesn’t BMI Determine Health Status?...NO!!

The Centers for Disease Control shares that BMI is not diagnostic of the health of an individual (here). 

People of all sizes get sick.If we look at what is really making Canadians healthy and unhealthy as stated by the Government of Canada (here) it is these key factors:

• income and social status

• social support networks

• education employment/working conditions

• social environments

• personal health practices and coping skills

• healthy child development

• biology and genetic endowment

• health services

• gender

• culture

Weight is not mentioned here. We cannot assume that a person’s size is equal to a person’s risk for disease.

Doesn't a higher BMI indicate and increased death rate?...NO

In a systematic review of 97 journal articles, it was found that the individuals in the “overweight” category were associated with a significantly lower mortality rate, even compared to the “normal weight” category (here).

What is Set Point Weight Theory?

So you can see why we are calling "BS" on the BMI! Despite a widespread belief (*sarcasm* thanks a lot, diet culture!) about being able to control our body shape and size with some food and activity changes, the set point theory maintains that we actually have very little control over our weight. 

Our set point weight is the weight range that our body wants to maintain - usually within about a 10-20lb range. There are mechanisms in place to keep our weight in that pre-programmed range. Think about how our bodies want to maintain other vital functions - temperature, blood glucose levels, heart rate. It makes sense that our weight would be another thing on the list.

Dieting can mess with our body’s natural weight range. Dieting (any sort of caloric restriction) feels like famine to our bodies and they adapt accordingly. Metabolic rate (the speed at which our body uses food fuel for energy) slows to be able to survive on less food. And hunger signals seriously increase. If you’ve ever been on a diet, you might notice that your sense of taste and smell are heightened. This feature pushes us to seek out food when our body believes it is scarce.

Once the famine (ie: diet) is over, the body seeks and stores as much food energy as possible in order to have a better shot at surviving the next “famine.”This is the reason that most people who follow diets end up gaining back even more weight than where they started and this higher weight becomes your body’s new set point.

How do you figure out your set point? 

It has nothing to do with consulting a BMI (Body Mass Index) chart. It’s a long term process of learning to listen to your body’s hunger and fullness cues. Your set point weight will be the range that your body naturally falls into when you are feeding and moving your body with mindfulness and when many of those key factors that influence health are in a good spot.

If you would like more help determining your set point, visit our list of dietitans here.

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The dangers of eliminating sugar

Blog post written by Lindzie O’Reilly, on-campus registered dietitian at the University of Guelph

Multiple times per week (sometimes multiple times per day) I am bombarded with messages about the dangers of sugar for our health and the benefits of removing it. What far fewer people are talking about are the dangers that come along with eliminating sugar completely.

It’s true – eating too much sugar day after day after day can have negative consequences for physical and mental well-being. That doesn’t mean, however, that we should cut it out completely. While avoiding sugar as a rule or aiming to quit “cold turkey” can seem appealing, it’s important to know the consequences of that approach before diving in. The true sweet spot is somewhere in middle, and the path that we take to get there is the most important.

We are evolutionarily programmed to crave sugar. In times of scarcity, sugar was a necessary source of energy for our ancestors. Craving sugar does not necessarily mean you have an addiction, it means that you are human. The most reliable way to induce a craving is to create a situation of scarcity – tell yourself you are never ever going to eat chocolate again and I guarantee you will crave it (and also feel worse about eating it, but we’ll talk about that in a minute). A great way to debunk the idea of ‘’sugar addiction” is to challenge yourself to eat nothing but sugar. Seriously, try it. Nothing but sugar for breakfast, lunch, dinner, and snacks. I promise, it will get old pretty quickly.

Aiming to eliminate sugar completely is a recipe for the “what the heck” response. We’ve all been there. “I told myself I wasn’t going to have dessert with dinner, but I did any way. I’ve really messed up. I might as well have a second dessert, and while I’m at it, a third. I’ll start fresh tomorrow.” When we aim to avoid something completely, not only does it make it really likely that we will eat it, it makes us feel terrible about ourselves when we do eat it. Once the negative self-talk begins, it’s nearly impossible to make rational decisions that prioritize what is truly best for our well-being. Instead, it drastically increases our portion sizes and also the likelihood that we will engage in secretive behavior (sneaking back down to the kitchen for another slice of cake when no one is looking or stopping for another snack on the drive home).

Eliminating sugar completely in the name of health represents a very narrow focus of health. Eating foods that provide enough fuel and nutrients to support energy and health is certainly important. It’s also incredibly important to eat foods that we like the taste of, and to give ourselves permission to truly enjoy those foods. It’s important to surround ourselves with loved ones and share food, laughter and memories together. Imposing rules and restrictions on food makes it challenging to honour all of the different reasons why we eat and adds a layer of stress to situations that is not helpful in pursuing well-being.

So, If the path to well-being is somewhere in between eating cookies for every meal of every day and never eating cookies at all, how the heck do we get there?? That path involves gradual change and self-compassion. Most of us are great at highlighting the things we’re not happy about and identifying the things we think we should stop doing. Instead, there is a lot of value in taking time to reflect on our strengths and the things we are doing well and could do a little more often.

Instead of focusing on specific foods to avoid, it can be helpful to focus on the bigger picture. Can you take a break every few hours throughout the day to have something to eat? One of the biggest contributors to food cravings is a situation of scarcity. Intentionally or unintentionally, many people eat too little during the day resulting in a food debt that leaves them feeling exhausted, irritable, and out of control around food.

Food rules and black and white thinking have become so common in our society that we often forget there can be a middle ground. Diet talk highjacks our social media and our social gatherings. We collect food rules like badges of honour and try to bully ourselves into behavior change. Unless you have a medical reason to avoid a food completely, cutting it out of your life will inevitable do more harm than good. What would it look like if you experimented with kindness and self-compassion instead?

You are what you say: Changing the diet-culture dialogue at food-centered events

Blog post written by Therese Kenny, MSc, PhD Student Clinical Child and Adolescent Psychology 

This week, I found myself at a “thank-you” breakfast. A beautiful spread had been provided with pastries, bagels, fruit, and hot drinks. To be honest though, there wasn’t much gratitude. I spent the entire breakfast listening to colleagues talk about what they should and shouldn’t eat, how bad they were being, and which foods were “okay” to consume. When I left, I was angry and frustrated. How could these lovely people be so ignorant about diet culture? How could they have enjoyed any part of this breakfast that was so graciously provided? Above all, I felt tremendous sadness: the food that was meant to connect us had ultimately left us ashamed and disconnected. 

Food plays a significant role in our culture and many gatherings revolve around food. Think back to the last holiday, staff party, potluck. With all these food-centered events, there are many opportunities for diet culture messages to be transmitted. These gatherings, however, also provide an opportunity to counter or challenge these messages. It is for this reason that I am writing a post about some of the most common diet culture phrases, along with some ways to change the dialogue. My hope is that we can all be a little more mindful of how we speak and more compassionate towards ourselves as we navigate this messy, diet-centered world.

Oh, you’re so good. You are only having X.

Why this is problematic: When we make statements about the “goodness” or “badness” of people’s food choices (including our own), we assign moral value to food. This is problematic because it equates someone’s worth with what they eat. People’s (inherent) worth is not predicated on what food they put in their body any more than it is on the air that they breathe.

How to change the dialogue: First of all, it is probably best not to comment on what others are eating, unless you have a severe allergy and want them to move elsewhere. Second, when talking about our own food choices we can begin to change the language to talk about “delicious”, “satisfying”, or “fulfilling” foods. If you catch yourself using “good” and “bad”, take a pause to think about how this makes you feel and if there is a way to shift your perspective. Often the foods that we categorize as “bad” are the foods that bring us pleasure, connection, and satisfaction. In my mind, none of these things is bad. In fact, these are the things of which I want to grow more in my life!

I’m planning on not having X later.

Why this is problematic: Restricting or limiting what we eat in response to a previous meal or snack is known as a compensatory behaviour. That is, we use the restriction to compensate for something else that we may have had. People also sometimes do this with exercise. Have you ever heard someone talking about “having to go to the gym” after an event? This reinforces the societal message that there is a limit to what can be eaten in one day and that if one exceeds this limit they are obliged to make up for it. It also, once again, ties one’s worth to what they put in their body. It is 100% natural that the amount and types of food we eat will differ across days, weeks, months, and years. There will be times when you have the energy and financial resources to make home-cooked meals and there will be times when you are just too busy or don’t have the money so you pick-up take-out or make Kraft Dinner.

How to change the dialogue: Approaching each meal and snack with a sense of curiosity can help to allow us to better listen to our bodies. Maybe you don’t want the donut during the staff meeting because you are not in the mood for something sweet. And maybe you do. Both are alright. Stopping the talk about and the act of engaging in compensation is key, however, to being able to reach this point. Even if you are not ready to start making the journey to this point, limiting (or better yet, eliminating) the compensations talk at group events will likely be appreciated by those around you!

I shouldn’t have eaten that.

Why this is problematic: When we talk about whether you “should” or “shouldn’t” have something, we are implicitly saying that there are rules about what is and isn’t okay to eat. This is problematic because, again, it puts food into categories, whether that be good/bad, healthy/unhealthy, okay/not okay, the list goes on and on. These dichotomies send the inaccurate message that there are rules about what our bodies can have, which, unless you have an allergy or dietary restriction, is utter nonsense. When we put food into categories, we reduce it to its component elements, forgetting that food has long been so much more than macronutrients. Food allows for connection, compassion, and love.

How to shift the dialogue: Focusing on what you gained from the food can be helpful in shifting the dialogue. Do you have more energy? Do you feel satisfied? Were you able to connect with your friend, parent, child, sibling? Thinking of food as being more than just energy in allows us to truly enjoy the gifts that food provides, rather than spending our time in guilt or shame.

At the end of the day, diet culture is so engrained in our culture that it is a HUGE undertaking to begin to push back. Thinking about and changing the way we speak, though a seemingly small step, can have enormous benefits for you and the ones around you. Research shows that changing how we talk can change how we feel. And I bet that thinking about that donut as being “satisfying” or “delicious” makes you feel a lot better than viewing it as “bad” or “off-limits”.

Five psychotherapy approaches to treating disorders

Blog post written by Natalie Doan, BAH, MSc candidate in Public Health and Health Systems, University of Waterloo

Due to the complex nature of eating disorders, approaches toward treating eating disorders often involve a multidisciplinary team of doctors, psychiatrists, psychologists, dieticians, social worker, nurses, etc. Treatment also addresses different components of eating disorders, such as the physical, psychological, and interpersonal factors that contribute to and maintain eating disorders. This article will briefly describe five empirically-based psychotherapy approaches to treating eating disorders. Please note, this is not an exhaustive list. 

Cognitive Behavioural Therapy- Enhanced (CBT-E)

Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT) is a popular psychotherapy used to treat many mental disorders. Cognitive Behavioural Therapy-Enhanced is a version of CBT that is modified for individuals with eating disorder pathology and is considered the gold standard in treating eating disorders. This type of therapy rests on the theory that disordered eating pathology is rooted in cognitive factors such as over-evaluation of the body, perfectionistic standards, and the need for control. The behavioural component of CBT-E focuses on reducing problematic eating disorder behaviours such as restriction, bingeing, purging, and body checking. Common activities in CBT-E include self-monitoring, cognitive restructuring, and behavioural chain analyses.

Dialectical Behavioural Therapy (DBT)

Dialectical Behavioural Therapy (DBT) was originally developed for people struggling with Borderline Personality Disorders, but has now been applied to treat a range of mental disorders, including eating disorders. This type of therapy is based on the affect regulation model which assumes that impulsive and self-destructive behaviours are caused by the inability to regulate and manage emotions. DBT is grounded in the concept of dialectics- the coexistence of seemingly opposite truths- and incorporates cognitive behavioural, meditative, and acceptance-based strategies to do so. The main modules of DBT include: mindfulness, distress tolerance, emotion regulation, and interpersonal effectiveness. DBT is used to treat eating disorders based on the assumptions that many individuals with eating disorders have difficult describing, tolerating, and expressing their emotions and that negative emotions are one of the most common triggers for symptomatic behaviours. This type of therapy is particularly effective for treating impulsive and problematic eating disorder symptoms where emotion dysregulation is a key culprit.

Cognitive Remediation Therapy (CRT)

Cognitive Remediation Therapy (CRT) targets weakness in cognitive processes underlying eating disorder symptoms. This therapy rests on the assumption that many Individuals with eating disorders often have cognitive styles characterized by inflexibility and excessive attention to detailed information. Cognitive inflexibility can manifest as persistent, rigid, conforming and obsessional thoughts or behaviours around food, weight, and routines. CRT helps individuals become aware of inflexible thinking patterns by reflecting on the process of completing simple cognitive games, reflecting, and then applying it to eating behaviour symptoms. Ultimately, these exercises help individuals see how thinking styles influences their eating disorder symptoms and overall quality of life. CRT also encourages practicing psychological flexibility outside of therapy sessions to strengthen neural connections, with simple (but challenging) behaviours such as taking a different route to destinations. 

Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT)

Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) contrasts some cognitive therapies (i.e., CBT) in that it focuses on changing actions rather than thoughts, feelings, sensations, or memories. To do so, individuals are encouraged to: accept reactions and be present; choose a valued direction; and take action. In the beginning of ACT, individuals identify core values and commit to creating goals to fulfill their values. In the process, ACT enables individuals to open up to unpleasant emotions and learn that they are a normal part of living an authentic life. In the end, this therapy should lead to reductions in avoidant coping styles that may enable eating disorder behaviours.  

Cognitive Remediation and Emotion Skills Training (CREST)

As mentioned above, individuals with eating disorders often struggle with emotions. Therefore, Cognitive Remediation and Emotion Skills Training (CREST) was developed to help individuals with eating disorders to improve their emotional processing, the ability to process stress and other emotionally charged events. CREST aims to improve emotional processing by using simple experiential exercises to normalize emotions. The use of simple, concrete, and engaging exercises allow individuals to develop a more accessible range of vocabulary and skillfully manage their emotions. This adjunctive treatment for eating disorders covers themes such as thinking about feelings, recognizing your emotions, thinking positively, and expressing your emotions.

The shame of the struggle

Blog post written by Sarah B.

When I first got out of residential treatment a year ago, I used to write - a lot. I wanted to scream recovery at the top of my lungs. I was so proud of all the hard work I had been doing and how much joy recovery brought me that I wanted everyone, suffering or not, to know that recovery was possible. My instagram stories were chalked full of recovery rants, realizations, motivation and opinions. I flooded my facebook page with inspiring quotes, educational articles, statistics and anything mental health related. I had (and still do have) so much I wanted to share with the world about recovery, but lately the shame of stumbling my way through this journey has kept me silent.

Why is shame so powerful? Why once you give it an inch does it take a mile? Why does shame follow imperfection? Why do we let shame silence our voice? 

I’ve been told recovery is not linear, and that phrase has been drilled into my brain for years now, yet somehow I thought I would be the exception; that I would be the first one to do recovery perfectly. In previous efforts towards recovery I would start off incredibly strong once leaving treatment without faltering - cue the black and white thinking. As soon as a slip occurred I would be upset, and ultimately ashamed of myself. In that moment I would instantly decide to throw in the towel and let myself relapse. If I couldn’t do it right, I wasn’t doing it at all.

This time around is very different. So here I am admitting struggle, and of being imperfect in my recovery. Acknowledging this is hard for me. I pride myself as being the strong one, in control (as many of us with eating disorders try to be), and as someone who is always okay. In the name of keeping up appearances, my social media presence declined to hide my imperfect recovery, conversations with friends and family were limited and surface level, and the shame of my struggle consequently silenced me. I didn’t want to let anyone in or to know that I wasn’t okay and struggling to hang on to my recovery that I had worked so hard for. I wish so bad that transparency and honesty came easy in recovery, but they don’t. Well, not for me at least.

It takes a great deal of courage to admit you’re not okay, that things are hard again and you’re scared. Perhaps it’s out of fear that others will be disappointed or upset with you, or maybe you’re comfortable in your struggle as you welcome the warm arms of your eating disorder creeping back in to keep you safe. Whatever it is, silence seems to be the answer.

When I first noticed my stories and posts straying away from mental illness and recovery topics I initially told myself it was because I was moving on with my life, getting back into the swing of things without my eating disorder. I had a job, friends, goals, commitments, appointments, clients and the reality of every day life. Of course recovery was still a priority for me, I just no longer felt the need to let the world know about it - for all I knew, I was fine. Little did I know, that in sharing my recovery journey with others I was in turn keeping myself accountable. Therefore, without being vocal I lost the accountability that I had set up for myself. Which sooner than later turned into secrecy fuelled by shame.

According to Brené Brown, “Shame is the intensely painful feeling or experience of believing we are flawed and therefore unworthy of acceptance and belonging.” The majority of my life I have spent seeking acceptance paired with a burning desire to belong. Therefore it makes sense, that when my recovery is on shaky ground and not going as well as it could be, I consider myself flawed, unworthy and living in fear that those closest to me will abandon me, so I stay silent. Shockingly enough however, I am incredibly worthy, despite my flaws.

At times it is challenging to believe this and counter the thought that if I’m honest with loved ones they will be disappointed and give up on me. Although throughout my recovery I have been doing things differently than before which now needs to include overcoming the shame of struggling. Admitting that what once came easy not too long ago, is now difficult again (I’m still trying to figure out why, how or where I went wrong) is not easy. I learned in treatment that secrets keep us sick. As hard as it is to be vulnerable and honest at times, I have come to realize it is crucial to keep myself from spiralling back down into the grips of hell with my eating disorder. Consequently, I told on myself to my treatment team and with their help I am gradually putting myself back together again. This process of speaking honestly about where I’m at is new territory for me, yet relieving to no longer have to carry around the burden, loneliness and shame that my struggle brought me. Brené Brown also states that “shame cannot survive being spoken” and I feel that on a deep level.

Recovery is messy - it’s hard - it’s painful - it’s exhausting and it’s scary. I’m slowly learning and accepting that bumps in the road are normal, setbacks can lead to comebacks and falling doesn’t make you weak, it’s in the picking yourself back up that makes you strong. If I could give one piece of advice when you find yourself living in silence under the cloud of shame, it is to find your voice and fight for your damn life.

Breaking free from diet culture on International No Diet Day

Blog post written by Amanda Raffoul, MSc, PhD Candidate in Public Health and Health Systems, University of Waterloo

Every year on May 6, individuals and organizations around the world recognize International No Diet Day (INDD). The objectives of INDD are to challenge misconceptions about dieting, push against the industries that sustain diet culture, and reinforce the harms of dieting among people across age, gender, culture, and body size. First, it’s important to delineate what exactly we are fighting against...

What is dieting & “diet culture”?

Traditionally, “dieting” has been defined as any intentional change in behaviour to achieve weight loss. But since body ideals are constantly changing and push different messages for different people in different ways, this definition of dieting as intentional weight loss might be too narrow. Instead, dieting can be seen as any intentional change to one’s weight, size, or shape to achieve a body ideal. This can range from changing one’s diet and exercise habits to lose weight, to trying to lift more weights and taking supplements to gain more muscle (and everything in between).

Dieting behaviours themselves can range in healthfulness - but just because one behaviour for weight change seems less harmful than another, it doesn’t make it any less of a dieting behaviour. Many diets disguise themselves as “lifestyle changes” or “healthy living”, but still reinforce messages of diet culture that permeate every facet of our lives. This can include constant remarks or discussions about weight among our friends, coworkers, and people in the media; seasonal days or events that encourage weight loss (e.g., “beach body season”, New Year resolutions), or a focus on “health” or “wellness” that prioritizes weight loss over actual wellbeing.

Who is dieting?

Dieting is incredibly common among the Canadian population. From my own research with other collaborators at the University of Waterloo, we’ve seen that over a 3 year period, 7 in 10 girls reported dieting to lose weight and that half of Canadian young adults have tried to lose weight in the past year. Dieting is most prevalent among women, non-binary persons, people who perceive themselves as “overweight”, and individuals with lower levels of health literacy. People within these groups are often targeted by industries that promote diet culture and pressure them to purchase products and give in to trends that promise wealth, success, and happiness if they can achieve a particular body ideal - but this is far from the truth...

So what’s the harm?

You may often hear that ~96% of diets fail, and that when diets don’t work, people are at a greater risk of weight gain. Although this fact has been supported by dozens of studies over decades of research, the focus on eventual weight gain just serves to reinforce elements of diet culture. On INDD, the goal is not to make people fear weight gain if they diet, but to inform them of the harms associated with dieting behaviours and attitudes.

Instead, let’s focus on overall wellbeing. Dieting has been associated with:

• poorer cardiometabolic health (especially among “yo-yo” dieters);

• an increased risk of eating disorders;

• an increased risk of engagement in harmful behaviours, including substance use;

• greater likelihood of stress, depression, and anxiety; and

• poorer overall dietary quality.

How to break free from diet culture

Diet culture surrounds us in every sphere of our lives. Begin by aiming to challenge and investigate common statements about weight, size, shape, and their associations with “health” and “wellness”.

Do what works for you and your body, and embrace alternative frameworks to wellbeing such as Health at Every Size that shift the focus away from weight to wellbeing.

If you require it, seek support from reputable organizations, agencies, and practitioners within your community who dispel diet culture from their values, messaging, and practices.

The Waterloo-Wellington Eating Disorders Coalition (WWEDC) is dedicated to raising awareness about INDD in our communities - check us out on Facebook and Instagram to help spread the word in your own networks and make a difference today!

Five kind ways to approach emotional eating

Blog post written by Suzanne Dietrich, RD, Gut Instincts Nutrition Counselling

When life deals us tough situations it's common to turn to one of the quickest, most gratifying ways to numb the emotions that arise - food. Do you eat emotionally? What does it look like for you? Does it look like eating beyond your fullness cues or ignoring your hunger cues? Emotional eating can exist upon a continuum. At one end it might be not eating at all, while at the other end it might be eating a lot.  For some people where they fit on the continuum might change with the type of emotion. Read further for a fresh perspective on emotional eating.

Just like our body sends us signals to go to the bathroom, go to sleep, sit down, stand up, etc., our body sends signals when we are hungry for food and when we are full.  These signals can be interrupted or hard to hear when we are dealing with stress or illness.   With emotional eating, one might not be able to tune into these cues because they are distracted by emotions, or they might choose to ignore them.  For many emotional eating is looked at as very negative, but let's look at some alternatives here... 

1. Drop the guilt & shame - Believe it or not, when a client shares with me that they have been emotionally eating I often respond by saying, "I'm glad you found a way to deal with those tough emotions during those hard moments." Sometimes it is hard to bring out your best coping skills, maybe eating is one of them for you. For many, a feeling of guilt or shame is attached to this emotional eating. But are self-induced feelings of guilt and shame helpful? Maybe? For most people, they are not. Can you drop the side of guilt and shame? What about viewing emotional eating as a window of opportunity about what is going on inside of you?

2. Be Aware - Can you use these moments of discomfort as an awareness opportunity? Can you name your emotions? Evelyn Tribole & Elyse Resch, authors of the Intuitive Eating Workbook say that "the tendency to eat emotionally could provide you with a strange gift.... this urge is actually a voice from within." One helpful way to remember this is the phrase "Name it to tame it," coined by Dr. Dan Siegel.

3. Permission to sit with your feelings - Your emotions deserve to be dealt with and your needs deserve to be met. Can you give yourself that permission? You don't need to act on these right away, even being able to sit with them and feel them can be helpful. Becoming an intuitive eater is about taking time to figure out emotional triggers. If you feel an urge to eat when you are not physically hungry or restrict when you are physically hungry - can you set the timer for 5 minutes and try to identify some of your feelings in a quiet spot? Often we don't give ourselves permission to acknowledge our emotions and they get left behind or stuffed down. If you need help with this, consider seeing a therapist for guidance.

4. Meet Basic Needs - Once you have given yourself permission to identify your emotions, figure out your needs. If your basic needs are not being met - such as sleep, life balance, nourishment from food, and stress management - you may not actually be emotionally eating - you may just be disconnected because of limited self-care. Either way, how can you meet these needs? I know it is easier said than done. Just remember it doesn't need to be perfect. Here are some questions to ask yourself....

   • Do you need more restful sleep?

   • Do you need a more regular eating routine? Or more variety in your eating?

   • Do you need to give yourself permission to be more relaxed about nourishing and/or play foods?  Dieting or too many food rules and lead to uncomfortable hunger & fullness.

   • Do you need more alone time or social time?

   • Are there maintainable boundaries that you would like to set for yourself? Is it time to take a vacation from social media?

5. Act with self-compassion  - Dr. Kristin Neff, Psychologist first established the self-compassion as a field of study (here & here).

The beautiful visual graphic above designed by Johnine Byrne is a great way to see the 3 principles of self-compassion - 1) Self Kindness 2) Recognizing our common humanity & 3) Mindfulness. Research tells us that self-compassion is linked to less severe binge eating, found here (Godfrey et al., 2015) and here, (Webb and Forman, 2013). Research has also demonstrated self-compassion might be a beneficial approach for reducing body dissatisfaction and disordered eating, see here, (Braun et al, 2016).

Ultimately the question to ponder is: Is this emotional eating/or not eating interrupting my ability to live life? If so, how can I expand my coping toolbox? Intuitive Eating is a way to develop peace with food.

*See the entire blog, with graphics and video clip at: https://www.gutinstincts.ca/blog/what-is-emotional-eating-gut-instincts-nutrition-counselling.htm

Living a fully present life

Blog post written by Alison Elliott, MSW, RSW

Too busy…too chaotic…too much to do… never enough time. Sound familiar? We live in a fast-paced world where for some, the day doesn’t have enough hours to get everything done. This week someone said to me “I can’t afford to lose an hour of time with Daylight Savings time. I’m barely keeping it together already!”.  The reality is, time is one thing that keeps going and we can never get it back.

So what kind of a life do you want to live? One that doesn’t have enough time for the things and people you love? Caught up so much in your own thoughts that you miss out on beautiful moments? Or one that is fully present, slowed enough to stop and see the details and appreciate the people and world around you?

My personal theme for 2018 was ‘simplify’. Finding a way to slow down, be present with my kids, husband, friends, clients and in everyday moments. To slow down my thoughts, focus on doing what makes sense, rather than doing what feels familiar. It was a tough adjustment but it was LIFE CHANGING. REALLY.

Here are some ideas to try:

1. Practice gratitude everyday. I call them ‘gratitude vitamins’. Take daily, morning and evening. Say 3 things you’re grateful for even before your feet get out of bed, and as they tuck in at night. Its perspective shifting.

2. Show up in mind and body. Put down your phone, set aside that homework or work email, and do things one at a time. Watching your favourite tv show? Just do that one thing, and be fully into it. Be willing to lessen multitasking and trust me, it will make a difference.

3. Prioritize self-care. Focus on getting restful sleep, nourishing your body by eating intuitively and moving your body in fun ways. Throw away the self-judgement and critical self-talk. Say no when you mean no, say yes when you mean yes.

4. Figure out who matters to you most. Love them hard. Show up for them, encourage them, listen to them and make sure they know they’re loved. Life can change in an instant, and nobody leaves this world wishing they spent less time with their loved ones.

5. Be wonderfully, unapologetically YOU. We are all mean to be different – in looks, personality, talents and interests. Comparison will only rob you of your joy. Stop wishing and hoping to look different, be different, or be better. Appreciate your body for what is has done for you today, and your mind for what is has learned today. Slow down, and take each day for the gift it is.

“Yesterday is gone. Tomorrow has not yet come. We have only today. Let us begin.” 
― Mother Theresa

What I Learned During My First Holiday Season In Recovery (Part 2)

*This blog was written by an individual with lived experience with an eating disorder. Content may by triggering for some people and the advice provided is based on the author's experience and should not be taken as professional or medical advice.

By: Sarah Braun

4. My Ability To Accept Love (and Gifts)

The month of December is a very busy, exciting and celebratory time in my life. Aside from Christmas, I also have the joy of celebrating my birthday and sober anniversary. My first year in recovery being mere days after my birthday, I decided to celebrate turning another year older and my success by paying tribute to all my hard work surrounded by my loved ones. Up until my 28th birthday, I was convinced I would be part of the “27 club”. In the past I had never wanted to make my birthday a big deal. Partially because I felt I didn’t deserve to be celebrated and partially because I was scared of the shame I would feel, if and when, nobody showed up; I felt as though someone like me, who felt was such a burden with my eating disorder and addiction didn’t deserve to feel loved or be celebrated. Over the course of my recovery, that mindset has changed. I deserved to be loved then, just as I much deserve it now. I only wish I knew that back then. 

As friends and family flooded in and gathered around the table I was overwhelmed with a sense of love and pride. I was swarmed with tight hugs, warm comments, thoughtful cards and precious gifts. A part of me still felt undeserving of these acts and the love being shown, however I’ve learned to combat those negative thoughts and accept reality for what it is. Therefore, I allowed myself to embrace it all. The love I felt in the room that day was something I had never experienced before and it’s all because I was open to accepting it. Had that love been there all along? Maybe, I’ll never truly know. All I do know, is that in the moment, everything I had ever wanted was surrounding me.

5. Anxiety & Triggers Are Still (Very) Real

The holidays can be a stressful time of year for anyone, not just those who live with mental illness, although that does (in my opinion) make it that much harder. This year I went into the holidays determined to make it my best one yet, as it would be my first Christmas in recovery and I wanted to prove that all my hard work has paid off. Turns out, the expectations I had for myself were set too high, and they were ultimately unrealistic. In my mind, I had convinced myself that I was far enough along in my recovery that fear foods and calorie counting wouldn’t get the best of me and that I could handle whatever came way. I believed that I could cope with being around those who were using my drug of choice. I thought that the drunken behaviour and words of others wouldn’t effect me or trigger flashbacks to my previous self. Turns out, I was wrong.

I have just over one year clean and sober under my belt, and have been committed to recovery from my eating disorder for the same length of time. I learned very quickly that the addiction and eating disorder do not care. There is no time limit, or finish line - they are relentless. To be honest, I already knew this, and perhaps was in a bit of denial. Or maybe I just hadn’t been exposed to the situations and triggers that I encountered during my time home. Either way, anxiety is still real, regardless of how far along you may be in your journey. It can still effect how you react and handle events in your life, expected or unexpected. I am not as invincible to reality as I once thought. Some meals were extremely overwhelming and I caught myself counting the calories or justifying and minimizing my portions. Some days I hated not being able to calm my nerves with a drink. However, I got through each day.

My holidays weren’t perfect - from from it actually. Looking back, I’m happy that they weren’t. I’m grateful I was put in uncomfortable, unfamiliar and triggering situations. I’m glad my emotions were all over the place and my anxiety sky-high at times. Rather than sailing through on smooth seas, I learned how to navigate my recovery over rough waters I hadn’t yet been through. 

6. I Can Survive

With the holidays now over, I have been able to take some time to step back and reflect. And guess what? I survived, I’m here to write about it. My body didn’t spontaneously combust because I indulged in some holiday treats. My heart didn’t explode from what felt like paralyzing anxiety. I didn’t miss out on, or not have fun at gatherings because I’m sober, quite the opposite actually. 

I had my reservations about what the holidays in recovery would look like and what they would entail. This was a whole new territory for me, my recovery and my life. Despite some moments being terribly difficult and challenging my recovery, others were incredibly powerful and I learned more about myself, my strength and my ability each time. The skills I have learned and have been practicing over the past year helped me stay afloat as I used them more than ever during this high pressure, high stress time. I continued to label my anxiety, and all my emotions for what they were, why they were there and what they were telling me. I acknowledged my triggers and rerouted my automatic thoughts. I took time to incorporate some much needed self-care into each day.  Overall I survived, and most importantly I learned that I can bounce back from a tidal wave of emotions and slippery behaviours that I once  was convinced would be the death of me.

The holidays no longer need to be a time of year to avoid or fear anymore. With recovery, they can be enjoyed, experienced and appreciated. It is by no means easy, but it is possible - just like recovery.

What I Learned During My First Holiday Season In Recovery (Part 1)

By: Sarah Braun

*This blog was written by an individual with lived experience with an eating disorder. Content may by triggering for some people and the advice provided is based on the author's experience and should not be taken as professional or medical advice.

1. It’s Not Bone-Chilling Cold  

Living with an eating disorder brings with it an unbearable cold. For many years my body was unable to keep itself warm and regulated in the summer months, let alone the colder ones. I had always dreaded the dark and chilly days of winter. I would drape layer upon layer of clothing each time I left the house and nothing would suffice. Being inside wasn’t any easier. The thermostat would constantly be set at what others would call ‘sweltering temperatures’ and even then, my hands were ice and my body shivering. I would try my best to erase the continuous chill in hopes that alcohol could warm me up, but it was never successful. Nothing was able to comfort me from that bone-chilling cold. 

This year is vastly different. My body is now in a place that is able to sustain warmth. My blood circulates properly and I have a healthy amount of fat cushioning my bones to protect me from the elements. I have found myself numerous times venturing outside in nothing but a light jacket or sweater in what are supposed to be winter months. My wardrobe has greatly expanded and activities now seem unlimited. Sometimes it feels as though I’m experiencing a whole new season. As any winter, there are still cold days and I have to remind myself that it’s not just me experiencing them - that’s a true reflection on the weather and I am grateful that I am alive to feel it. I sometimes find myself waiting for that relentless and unbearable cold to return, but it hasn’t and I don’t plan on letting it. 

2. Having People To Shop For Is A Blessing

I have always enjoyed shopping for others, and as I spiralled more and more into my eating disorder and addictions, that enjoyment faded. Perhaps it was because I felt as though I no longer had anyone left in my life I could shop for. Who would want to spend the holidays with an alcoholic? They’d likely just toss it to the side or into the trash because it would remind them of the girl with the eating disorder. It wouldn’t bring joy to anyone because it came from the sick, lost and dying girl. Perhaps my gift-giving passion began to falter because all I cared to spend my money on was drugs, alcohol and food that would later end up in the toilet. I was self-centred in my thinking and would rather forget about the holidays altogether with my unhealthy coping strategies. Either way, in the past, this time of year always loomed over me. I would spend hours questioning my existence, my sense of belonging and the burden I believed I brought to the lives of those I loved.

Being in recovery for the first time since I was 10 during this holiday season has been so much fun. I spent the weeks between Halloween and Christmas carefully planning, shopping and making gifts for the incredible people I have in my life. I’ve heard it said that giving is the best feeling in the world, and now I can confidently agree. I had never truly experienced the joy that came with it until this year. As I was out in the hustle and bustle of the holiday season it dawned on me what a blessing it is to have people in your life to shop for during this time. I was overwhelmed with happiness thinking of all the special relationships I have in my life today that I would not have if I did not choose recovery. Even more exciting than the planning and effort that went into each gift, was the expression on their faces as they opened them. The time and thought dedicated to each one had truly shined through. As I no longer spend my time and money centred around my addiction and eating disorder, I was able to show my loved ones just how much they mean to me. Something I was unable to do during my struggle, as I constantly pushed people away trying to isolate myself completely. Now, I know Christmas is not about the presents under the tree, but instead about the people around the tree, and this year I’m beyond grateful that I have people around the tree to give to.

3. I Enjoy Eggnog 

The holiday season is very much known for indulging in both food and alcohol. In previous years, I refused to enjoy the snack trays and appetizers set out at parties or even sit down for Christmas dinner with family. Instead I filled my stomach with alcohol and spent my time at whatever establishment was open when I needed to escape.

A well-known holiday favourite of course is egg-nog. Throughout the course of my illness this drink terrified me to my core, and I steered clear of any offerings. Even if it was an alcoholic version of the drink, I would not allow myself to taste a sip, paralyzed by fear of extra calories. I spent the majority of my life telling myself and others that I simply did not enjoy the taste. Being in recovery for the holidays this year, I wanted to re-test that disordered assumption. Therefore one of the goals I made over the holidays was to try eggnog. To my surprise, I enjoyed it. I will admit thoughts of calories still swirled in my mind as I enjoyed the thick and creamy beverage, but I liked it nonetheless. I did not let it impact or dictate the rest of my evening, and more importantly, my meal plan. It is normal to indulge a little over the holidays and I refused to let my eating disorder take control and ruin yet another Christmas. This year I was able to sit down with my family for dinner without a tense and strained conversation. The humour and love in our home had returned.

I wish I could say that I made it through the holidays without an eating disordered thought, or craving for alcohol, but I did not. Even though I am in recovery, I still struggle with thoughts and urges from time to time. The only difference this year is that I did not act on them. Some days were harder than others, but through it all I learned that the holidays can be fun without alcohol and that enjoying the specialty treats, like eggnog, is okay (and delicious!)

In light of the retraction of Brian Wansink’s work, should we still be working on mindful eating?

You may have heard Brian Wansink’s name before, or at least might be familiar with his work. For more than two decades, Wansink researched what he coined ‘mindless’ eating. Some of his many ideas around food include the idea that we eat larger portion sizes when eating off larger plates, and that we eat larger portion sizes when distracted. Throughout his work, he makes suggestions around how we can modify our environment to manage our portion sizes and eat amounts that are right for our bodies. In 2016, however, evidence began to mount that there were problems with Wansink’s work. By fall 2018, fifteen of Wansink’s studies had been retracted (that’s a lot!) prompting his resignation from Cornell University.

Throughout the process of eating disorder recovery, it’s common for individuals to learn about different types of eating, such as mechanical eating and mindful eating. It’s common to be encouraged by health professionals, myself included, to begin to notice and relearn how to listen to the physical signs of hunger. If Wansink’s work is discredited, does that mean that all of that advice was wrong and that all of the work you’ve done on mindful eating was in vain? I don’t believe so.

While the size of your plate, your company at the dinner table, or the size of your food packaging may not make as much of a difference as Wansink thought, I still believe that there is value in the idea of mindful eating. I think this situation is a good reminder that eating is a tricky thing. We eat for a lot of different reasons, which means it’s important to approach eating with a variety of strategies.

Many individuals with an eating disorder have spent a long time ignoring physical hunger cues or may have a very erratic food routine that makes it challenging to interpret physical hunger cues. I believe that there is a lot of value in working to notice and reconnect with what physical hunger looks and feels like for you. Practicing (yes, it takes a lot of practice) mindful eating can teach you many things. To name a few, it can help you learn about your body’s needs, how certain foods make you feel physically and mentally, and what foods you actually like or dislike. Once you have a solid food plan in place that is making sure you’re meeting your nutrient and energy needs, mindful eating can bring flexibility to your food routine.

Mindful eating, however, cannot stand on it’s own. There are many situations where it is important to eat even if your body is not giving you physical hunger cues. This is a common situation in the early stages of recovery when you are working to establish a regular routine with food. These situations can continue to occur even in the later stages of recovery if you are stressed, anxious, have just exercised, or have a cold of flu. Challenging yourself to eat mechanically in the absence of hunger cues is a very important skill that helps prevent situations where you feel over hungry (or hangry), experience low energy, or may feel out of control around food when you do eat.

Both the ideas that Brian Wansink brought forward about mindful eating as well as his recent discreditation are important for many reasons. They remind us that mindful eating (and eating in general!) is tricky to study and that many factors influence why we eat or don’t eat. Practicing mindful eating is still valuable, as long as other skills around eating are maintained and still utilized. Mindful eating cannot stand alone and cannot be used as the only strategy or explanation for why we eat.

Blog post written by Lindzie O’Reilly, MAN, Registered Dietitian, Student Health Services, University of Guelph.